Ceremony Outline or Order of Service

If you are at the beginning of the process, there’s a good chance you are sitting there wondering what on earth is involved in a wedding ceremony. Here’s a quick overview of all the elements you may like to include, starting with the legal requirements and rolling through all the optional elements you can include to truly make it your own.

In this Order of Service below, I have used “bride and groom” rather than Partner A and B.

THINGS WE HAVE TO INCLUDE TO MAKE IT LEGAL

LEGAL VOWS
I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, (insert full legal name), take you, (insert full legal name), to be my lawful wedded wife/husband/partner in marriage. You can say this during your vows or as you exchange rings.

MONITUM
My name is Alexandra Conroy, and I am duly authorised by law to solemnise this marriage according to law. Before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence of these witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage, according to law in Australia, is union of two people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.

WITNESSES
Two witnesses over 18yrs of age must sign the paperwork, along with myself and the couple

ORDER OF SERVICE

The following is all optional, so you can truly make it a moment that honours your unique love story.

1. PROCESSIONAL

I will either meet the bride at the entrance or be waiting at front with groom and groomsmen. The bridal party usually enter with flower girls and pageboys, followed by bridesmaids, made of honour followed lastly by and bride and escort/s (if any). Mothers, fathers and even groomsmen and groom can also enter during the processional too.

2. WELCOME & SPECIAL MENTIONS/THANKS & REMEMBRANCES

I will welcome everyone and can include an acknowledgement of county. Any special thankyou’s can be said on your behalf e.g. guests who have travelled from afar, or anyone who has made a huge effort to be there.

Another option here is to publicly thank your parents for all their love and support showed in raising you. Speak aloud your thanks and/or present them with a gift or flowers etc.
You may like to ask your guests to show their support of your marriage through an informal “Declaration of Support” and a big round of applause.

Lastly, if you want to honour a guest who was unable to attend or the memory of a loved one, we can include this in the introduction; this can be kept brief e.g. “We would like to mention ….., who is very much here with us in our hearts today”. Lit candles or similar may be used to symbolically represent them if that feels appropriate.

Also, guests often wonder why you chose your particular ceremony venue, so a little context gives your guests a sense of warmth and appreciation.

3. THE STORY PART aka THE MARRIAGE ADDRESS

I will speak about your story and what marriage means to you. Based on our discussions and the answers you give me in your questionnaires I will weave your story throughout including what you love about each other, what marriage means to you and your hopes for your future together.

4. READINGS by Friends and/or Family (choose from samples provided or choose/write your own)

Readings add variety and get people involved in your ceremony. A poem can articulate how you truly feel. Any kind of prose can be read here, a poem, prayer, or even a song or quote is suitable. You can have o reading or two or none at all.

5. PARENTS’/COMMUNITY DECLARATION OF SUPPORT OR GIVING AWAY
(choose from samples provided or write your own)

Traditionally, the father gave his daughter away (Giving Away the Bride) however, modern couples prefer to regard it as a gesture of love and support.

If the declaration appeals, you can have anyone do this, your father, mother, both parents, other family members, friends.
It is now popular to have both the couple’s parents come and stand beside them. I can briefly speak of the hopes and dreams the parents have for their children etc. then they are all asked to pledge their love and support for the marriage. If you like, please ask your parents to write a few words outlining their hopes and dreams for you which they can read out or if you prefer, I can read. You can pass it on to me or have them email me directly.

Alternatively, you may like to ask for the communities (friends and family) support of your marriage. I will ask your guests do they support your marriage and they answer with “we do” or similar. Or we can ask them to give a big round of applause to show their support.

The traditional “Giving Away” is also an option. Please see my samples.

6. THE ASKING / I Do’s (choose from samples provided or write your own)
This is where you will be asked individually of your intention to marry each other.
e.g. “Do you ____take ___ to be your wedded partner, etc. etc.?” to which the answer is, “I do.”

7. PERSONAL VOWS (choose from samples provided or write your own)
These often start or end with a the legal vows required to be spoken to legalise your marriage. Followed with the promises you make to each other stating what you will do to keep the friendship, intimacy, trust and humour alive. They are not necessarily sentimental reflections of how you feel. They are born out the vision you develop for your life together. They are a living testament to what matters most to you as a couple. They are the core principles that guide how you speak and act with one another, and help you remember what’s important in marriage.

Sometimes it helps to sit quietly and write a letter to your partner and let all your thoughts flow onto the page. You can read this love letter aloud to them on your wedding day. You can either write your own vows or read out a vow from my collection of inspiring samples gathered over the last decade, literally the best of the best! I’m happy to help if needed.

Reading them to each other is best, rather than the old-fashioned repeat-after-me. Reading them aloud also allows me to step away and give you privacy in this special moment. You can exchange the same vows or use different vows. You can also include a family vow for children here.

8. THE RING EXCHANGE VOW (choose from samples provided or write your own)

The exchange of wedding rings is optional yet traditional.
I will speak about the symbolism of wedding rings, then I will ask your ring bearer, “…… may I have the rings?” The ring bearer brings forward the first ring, then later the second ring.

Rings will then be exchanged whilst saying the legals vows or a chosen ring vow. e.g. “With this ring I marry you. Wear it as a symbol of my love for you.” (if it gets stuck, don’t worry, the wearer can help push it on properly – giving each other a helping hand, that’s marriage for you!).

You can also choose to combine your personal vows and ring vows.

9. BESPOKE ELEMENTS and SPECIAL TOUCHES – OPTIONAL (choose from samples provided or create your own)

You can include a special ceremony here, perhaps one that symbolises unity/new beginnings or represents your family heritage in some way. Alternatively have a blessing ceremony or have friends play/sing a song.

The options are endless and it is a great way to add interest and meaning.

A few ideas are sand ceremony, sharing of wine/whisky, handfasting, time capsule, blessing stones, children’s/family vow, ring warming. I have 20 of them you can choose from and can easily work with couples to create new rituals to suit their story, for example stone laying for the backyard fire-pit, tree planting, art painting etc.

10. PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE

I pronounce you partners for life/husband and wife/wife and wife etc.

11. KISS

Savour your kiss and please let it linger for a few seconds, because this is your first married kiss, and also because the photographer will want to capture this moment.

Choose two songs to play back to back here as you kiss and rolling into the certificate signing.

12. SIGNING OF CERTIFICATES

Along with the couple and celebrant, two witnesses over 18 years of age will be called upon to come forward to sign the certificate and documentation.

13. READINGS by Friends or Family – OPTIONAL (choose from samples provided or write your own

 To conclude you can have a reading here. It’s best to have an uplifting ‘blessing’ e.g. The Irish Wedding Blessing or The Apache Prayer. Or even better, have a loved one write a speech with their advice on marriage or wishes for your future. Because it is so personal and read by someone you love, this will often bring tears and happiness and is a stellar way to end your ceremony.

14. PRESENTATION OF MARRIED COUPLE

After the signing, I will introduce you for the very first time as a married couple.
Followed by applause and cheering – it’s time to kick off the party!

15. RECESSIONAL

Choose a happy song to be played at this point, this song signals it’s time to celebrate. Couple exit down aisle followed by wedding party to the congratulations of guests. You can mingle with your guests and have photos.

16. SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENTS
Your guests may need special instructions about what will be happening after thE ceremony. These announcements can be made when it feels right. Personally I prefer to make these announcements before the ceremony starts as I gather and seat your guests.

17. CEREMONY MUSIC / SONGS (choose from samples provided or choose your own)
See my blog post on how to choose songs